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Obituary of a Chew Toy

July 27, 2010

Sophie the Giraffe, who over the past eight months distinguished herself as the chew toy of choice for my daughter’s frequent car trips, beating out such sturdy competition as Wooby the Mango Monkey rattle and a plastic measuring cup, died today when she thrown from a moving stroller. She was 49.

Dubbed the “World’s Most Famous Teething Toy,” Sophie was born on May 25, 1961, in the small town of Rumilly, France, where she was fashioned out of rubber made from the hevea tree. She stood 18 inches tall and her long, spindly legs and neck were perfect for soothing hard-to-reach baby molars.

Autopsy results conclude that the giraffe suffered a broken neck and punctured squeaky hole from the fatal fall, which took place at around the 1.5 mile mark of Crystal Springs Trail in San Mateo, Calif., at approximately 11:23 this morning. When alerted of the tragic news, my wife asked: “What the hell happened to Sophie? Why isn’t she squeaking?” To which I responded: “She gone.”

Authorities have yet to determine a motive for the incident, but an unnamed source close to the victim claims that a falling out occurred after a Winnie the Pooh music box was introduced into the nursery last month, adding, “Poor Sophie just never regained her footing after that.”

Sophie the Giraffe is survived by a Dora the Explorer fun mirror, Sammy the Seahorse, and two dozen wooden blocks. A private memorial service was held in our living room this evening.

Sophie the Giraffe (top right) 1961-2010

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Lana Guernsey permalink
    July 28, 2010 8:15 pm

    Oh I do hope you are saving these in a hard copy form in addition to sharing with the rest of us in all their electronic glory. I love this blog and even though my own munchkins are now much beyond the stroller days of the Crystal Springs Trail, I can still relate and it takes me back… Long live Sophie’s spirit!

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